0:50
Early one Christmas morning,
before you were awake,
Santa popped into your chimneypot,
and landed in your fireplace.
1:08
You thought that you'd been naughty;
he thought that you'd been good.
He squeezed into your chimney
and he landed with a thud.
1:25
Oh Santa, Santa, what was that bump?
Santa, Santa, it was your bum!
Sitting in the hearth with soot on your rump.
Oh Santa, it's your bum.
1:52
Later on when you waken up,
you find him sitting there looking shaken up.
He's sooty and black, there's a crick in his back,
and a sore head where he got hit by his sack.
2:09
He's not the Santa you used to know,
covered in soot when it should be snow;
his beard is covered with pastry crumbs,
and round the back, the crack of his hairy bum.
2:31
Oh Santa, man you've put on weight,
you're bending the iron of the fire grate.
Santa, how are things so bad?
Do you know how many pies you've had?
2:49
Eating them all was a big mistake,
poor old Rudolph deserves a break.
No wonder his nose, is red and glows,
from the gas from Santa's ass every time he blows.
3:04
Every Christmas Eve when he gets on his way,
bringing all the presents in his flying sleigh,
he sees that you've left him a plate of treats
and jolly old Santa eats and eats.
3:23
So Santa, Santa, look at your size!
You've filled your face with too many pies.
You're far too fat to fit through the door
so you've fallen down the chimney and you've hit the floor.
3:42
Oh Santa, Santa, what was that bump?
Santa, Santa, it was your bum!
Sitting in the hearth with soot on your rump.
Oh Santa, it's your bum.
(spoken softly) Santa it's your bum.
