Eurovision Bingo

This weekend, it's one of my personal highlights of the year - the Eurovision Song Contest.

However, I've never managed to find a decent Eurovision Bingo game - and any that include 'Terry Wogan says he's drunk' are clearly past their sell-by date.

So this year, I've put together some Eurovision Bingo cards of my own...


Yes, I know that's too small to see, but click on it for the full-sized version, which you can print out if you want to play along.

While you're playing, be sure to decide which is your most and least favourite entry, as you'll need those once the scores start coming in.

If you're playing as a drinking game, the good news is that all four cards have the same squares, just in different positions - so everyone should get to have the same number of drinks, at least until the votes start coming in.

You should find it fairly hard to complete a line until the voting starts, and that's where your choice of favourite entrant means one player might complete a line before anybody else.

Choose a suitable forfeit for when this happens - it doesn't have to involve alcohol, but it helps.

Beyond that, the rules are fairly self-explanatory, so have fun!

Tumblr's Barricades

or, Paula's Password

A lyrical composition to commiserate with Paula Maher, who can't get into her Tumblr account so is singing along to Spandau Ballet instead.


Paula doesn't know where Tumblr's gone
She says her password's right
But clearly she is wrong
She clicks the link to get a brand new pass
But all she gets instead
Is a browser crash
And now I know what she's saying
As it fails to load the page
Cos she's throwing out an F-bomb
At Tumblr's barricades

I'm wond'ring why she even cares
I thought it wasn't Tumblr
But Twitter where she shares
I guess it's fine to post on other sites
But now that Tumblr's wrong
It makes Twitter feel more right
And now I know what she's saying
As she slips into a rage
Cos she's throwing out an F-bomb
At Tumblr's barricades

Networks aimed at different groups
Tumblr gets your notes
But Twitter gets your truths
So come to me with all your tweets
And I'll dot your i's
And cross all of your t's
And now I know what you're saying
To Tumblr's login page
Cos you're throwing out those F-bombs
At Tumblr's barricades

Oh, hit refresh, it'll be there!
There's a password box on-screen, you've forgotten again!
You think you might have got it right,
But it's all a bag of fucking shite.
And the error message tells you
That it's not gonna be your night, oh...

Better leave the bastard thing
And email tech support
Or give Tumblr a ring
Twitter's here to hold your hand
Of everyone you know
It's tweeps who'll understand
And now I know what you're saying
As your tweets load on the page
Cos you're throwing out an F-bomb
At Tumblr's barricades
Yes I know, what you're risking
Because Twitter jail is a cage
So don't tweet too many F-bombs
About Tumblr's barricades.

Didsbury in my heart, Leigh in my address

So it seems my time as a Didsbury copywriter has, for now, come to an end - I've moved to Leigh. But don't worry, Didsburgers, I won't forget you.

I'll still be on Twitter, and I'll be back in person often enough too - I wouldn't know where to buy gifts without Harriet and Dee, or toys without Giddy Goat Toys, or San Miguel without the Sanctuary... well OK, they have beer in Leigh, but it'll take a while to find anywhere that feels so much like a home from home.


Wilmslow Road, Didsbury Village by Firing up the quattro....

While this move isn't forever, it could be a while before I'm back living in Didsbury, and I'd hate to lose touch with you all.

With that in mind, I'm offering a minimum of 10% off my usual rates (which, as always, can be found here) if your billing address is in the M20 postcode district. Call it part of my commitment to being a Didsbury copywriter, even if I'm not living there any more.

Individuals and small businesses, if your budget is particularly tight, I can usually work out a deal that will provide you with useful content at a price that still allows you to turn a profit, so if the 10% offer isn't enough, please still get in touch.

Meanwhile, in Leigh...


Market Street, Leigh by Gene Hunt

I'm equally keen to establish myself as a Leigh copywriter as to hang on to my status as a Didsbury copywriter.

As such, I'm offering the 10% discount to any new customers with a Leigh billing address, with the same offer to negotiate further if your budget demands it, and the discount is available until June 27th 2013 (my birthday!) as I'll probably be taking a few days off around then to spend in the beer garden of The Waterside.

From what I've seen of Leigh so far, I reckon there's money to be made for businesses that can build their online presence - the mix of big brand stores and independent retailers is just right for those who know how to compete to really make a name for themselves.

Did I love Didsbury? Yes, and I still do. It may take a while before I'm ready to put 'Leigh copywriter' on my business cards, at the expense of all other locations that are close to my heart, but I'm hitting the ground running in my new home, and ready to take orders from those of you who haven't been able to find a good writer up until now.

All the usual contact details are below - email and Twitter work best/fastest, but we can arrange phone calls and in-person meetings too if it helps.

Free stock photos for commercial blog posts

I'm often asked to suggest suitable images to accompany the blog posts I write for my clients - and honestly, I'm pretty delighted when that happens, because often the alternative is that they simply lift images from Google search results, without double-checking whether any copyright applies to them.

In almost all cases, some form of copyright will apply, even if it is simply a Creative Commons licence allowing the image to be used, edited and otherwise manipulated without any need to attribute the original creator - and this is by no means the 'standard' licence that applies to most images published online.


Copyright License Choice by Joshua Gajownik for opensource.com (via Flickr)

When you look for images to go alongside your blog posts, you at the very least need ones that are approved for editorial use, and arguably need ones that are approved for commercial use too, if your blog (as most company-run blogs are) is mainly for marketing purposes.

Ask me for suggestions, and they'll usually come from one of three main sources, in this order of preference:

1. Compfight

Compfight is a dedicated search engine for Flickr uploads, but it also offers the ability to filter your results by the type of licence that applies to the image.

Type in your keyword search on the homepage, and hit enter to run your first search. The results will be displayed according to Compfight's default settings.

Crucially, under 'Any license' at the left-hand side of your screen, click 'Commercial' and your results will change to display only images that can be used freely for commercial purposes.


CC Stickers by LAI Ryanne
Things to remember:
  • like on Google, the top few results are effectively sponsored - so ignore the top couple of lines of 'Professional Stock Photos from $1' and look below the dotted line to find the genuinely free pictures
  • select 'All text' at the left to widen your search by searching the full descriptions of images, rather than just the category tags assigned to them by the uploader
  • 'Show Originals' indicates that Compfight has an uploaded, original version of the image - indicated using a blue bar in the search results - so if you only want photographers' high-res original shots, switch to 'Only Originals'
  • select 'Unsafe' if you're searching for mature content, or just feeling adventurous - you will usually see naked people if you choose this option
  • switch off the lightbox-stylee 'Pop Up' option if you'd prefer to be linked to the image's Flickr page for more download options (I switch Pop Up off every time I run a search)

Be careful with this one - I am not suggesting that you can simply search Google Images and use anything you find.


Copyright Machine by *doctormo
What you should do is this:
  • run an ordinary Google Images search as you would normally
  • click the settings 'cog' icon at the top-right
  • choose 'Advanced Search' from the dropdown list
  • scroll down to 'usage rights'
  • choose 'free to use or share, even commercially'
  • click 'Advanced Search'
Your results should now consist only of images that can be used freely, even for commercial purposes - just make sure you check the relevant web page for any specific instructions on attribution etc.


As a last resort, Wikimedia Commons holds Creative Commons images that, in principle, can be used freely for any purpose - again, there may be certain restrictions on certain images, so check before you add them to your page.


The comic strip shown above came via Wikimedia Commons, with no usage restrictions whatsoever (although it does have a subtle attribution built into it, but that's normal with comics...).

In fact, as a point of principle, I found the four images used in this article via:
  • Compfight
  • Compfight
  • Google Images Advanced Search
  • Wikimedia Commons
(Those are in the order that the images appear on this page, reading top to bottom)

All are free for commercial use, as far as I can tell, and I've done my best to attribute them as thoroughly as possible - I suspect in most instances, a single name and/or link to the original file would fulfil the necessary attribution criteria.

Any Others?

If you arrived here looking for free stock photos, you probably don't have any hot tips on where to find them - but just on the off chance, if you have any suggestions that I've missed, do let me know and I'll add them to this page.

Happy hunting, photo-fans!

Selling to singletons in February

What happens in February? "Valentine's Day!" Yes, OK - what else? "Er..."

February 14th is a nightmare for 88% of single people and about 18% of couples (and that's not including the stress of finding the right card or present, for couples who choose to celebrate the occasion).

And while it's a key event in the annual 'buy cycle' for certain categories of retailer, it's also a major risk factor if you blanket your non-loved-up customers with mail shots full of hearts and roses.

So what else can you promote in February? Well, consider pushing Valentine's Day as part of a month-long calendar of events:

Adfero, Axonn Media, and Adam Afriyie

If you've arrived here after seeing my name in The Guardian today, welcome. Let's make sure things are in context.

Robert Booth's profile of Adam Afriyie quotes me fairly extensively, given the size of the article, so I'd like to make sure my comments are set in a wider context - it's easy to misinterpret things when you're only given a sentence or two.

The Farming and the Scraping

First of all, I don't think I have ever referred to Adfero/Axonn Media as a 'word farm', 'content farm' or any variation of those kinds of terms. Their service - at least while I worked there, 2006-2011, does indeed involve producing short news articles, often from press releases, but it's more sophisticated than just 'content spinning'.

Articles are written from primary source material and original interviews wherever possible. Have I ever used the word 'churn' to describe the Adfero process? Possibly in casual conversation. Certainly not anywhere that I'd want to be quoted, as far as I know. I wouldn't say press releases are 'harvested systematically', and while the targets set may be 'eye-watering', they were always set out with total transparency during interviews and recruitment days.

[UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that I do use the word 'churned' to describe my role at Adfero, in its entry in my employment history on Facebook. In full, I say: "Churned out massive amounts of online news every day for five years. Rose through the ranks to 'Desk Head' position, in charge of about 10 correspondents. Loved the job, loathed the company." I think I wrote that soon after leaving, and it paints a very caricature picture of my time there. I'm not going to change it immediately, as I don't want to try and hide behind edits, but it's likely that I'll amend that statement in a few weeks or so, as I really don't hate the company as much as that particular comment makes it sound like I do.]

In fact, I think everything I told Robert Booth - the working hours, the article numbers, and the pricing structure - is a matter of public record; you could find that information by attending an interview, or by contacting Adfero's sales team.

To give Adfero/Axonn Media their dues, the content they produce works. I have seen it work, from the inside and from the outside - their articles often appear in my search results when I'm researching a subject now, and in some cases the only way you'd recognise that it was written by them is if you've worked there and know what to look for.

I have said before, I do not consider myself to be a direct rival to Adfero, and I told Robert Booth that. They typically serve clients with sizeable monthly budgets, who are looking for 50-60 website updates per month. My client base tends to be small businesses who need to maximise their return on every penny invested, and that can mean just a handful of updates per month. We operate in different markets, and I would never - at least, not for now - position myself as a direct competitor to Adfero.

Personal Experience

The bulk of my quotation in the Guardian article is lifted directly from a page on this blog (and, I note, is not cited as such - Adfero/Axonn Media would never fail to adequately cite a source). It's this page here. Please take a moment to read it in full, if you're interested enough.

Yes, there was one time when I wrote 101 articles to meet end-of-month targets, with about two hours' total sleep over the course of almost a day and a half. Was it 'expected' of me that I would do that? Well, perhaps, but I suspect plenty of people in managerial positions have had to work long shifts to hit deadlines. It's part of the responsibility that comes with climbing the career ladder. I'm sure Adfero probably weren't too pleased that so much of my team's content was sent out at the very last minute that month - it's swings and roundabouts.

When the targets (in my view) became unachievable within the remit of the job, I left. I would say that I left on reasonably amicable terms, although today's events may well change Adfero/Axonn Media's opinion of that.

In short, this blog is effectively an online CV for my freelance services. Of course I want to demonstrate that I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to get the job done, and to hit deadlines - 101 articles without stopping? No problem! I've worked through the night to get bulk orders completed quickly as a freelancer, too, and I have nobody to blame for that but myself. Sometimes it has to be done, especially to help the client out of an emergency.

Adam Afriyie

Briefly, a note on Adam Afriyie. I don't recall ever meeting him, or speaking with him, during my Adfero career. I have no reason to dislike him. I have no desire to slander his name, or to put any kind of blemish on his reputation. I know nothing about his politics, and he may well be the right person to lead the Conservative party at some point in the future. I have literally zero opinion on that matter, and even if I did, it wouldn't count for anything.

I would say this though - say what you want about Adfero, they tend to spell people's names correctly, even in an article that took 10 minutes to write and is primarily published for SEO purposes. They definitely would be unlikely to switch from 'Afriyie' to 'Afriye' in the space of the same article.

Too Long, Didn't Read

If all of the above is a bit too in-depth for your liking, then here's the summary:

  • I genuinely believe the Adfero/Axonn Media service is better than as described in The Guardian today;
  • I have no reason to want Adfero/Axonn Media and/or Adam Afriyie to fail;
  • I would not want my comments, as quoted in Rob Booth's article, to be taken out of context.

As always, I would say, if you have the correct budget range and want to appear high in Google's search results, Axonn Media will almost certainly get you there for your target key words and phrases.

If you are a recent graduate and need an employer willing to take you on without experience, Axonn Media will give you a chance, and you will learn a lot in a short space of time.

And if you arrived here expecting a tirade against my former employer, let me say once again: we parted on amicable terms, I have no reason to want to see them fail, their service works (and is better than as described in The Guardian today) and I would advise you to seriously consider using them, if they suit your budget and your aims.

Comments are open as always, so feel free to continue the debate below, and I will attempt to answer any queries promptly.

'How do I shut down Twitter?'

As I write this, I feel bereft, a lonely man in an empty world. Twitter is down, and it's all HMV's fault.

Despite Twitter's reputation as a hystrionic swarming ground for bullies, trolls and gossip-mongers, only very rarely does something with enough widespread appeal occur to take the whole social network offline.

Today, HMV may have managed that - ironically, by asking the soon-to-be infamous question, "How do I shut down Twitter?"