Eurovision Bingo

This weekend, it's one of my personal highlights of the year - the Eurovision Song Contest.

However, I've never managed to find a decent Eurovision Bingo game - and any that include 'Terry Wogan says he's drunk' are clearly past their sell-by date.

So this year, I've put together some Eurovision Bingo cards of my own...

Yes, I know that's too small to see, but click on it for the full-sized version, which you can print out if you want to play along.

While you're playing, be sure to decide which is your most and least favourite entry, as you'll need those once the scores start coming in.

If you're playing as a drinking game, the good news is that all four cards have the same squares, just in different positions - so everyone should get to have the same number of drinks, at least until the votes start coming in.

You should find it fairly hard to complete a line until the voting starts, and that's where your choice of favourite entrant means one player might complete a line before anybody else.

Choose a suitable forfeit for when this happens - it doesn't have to involve alcohol, but it helps.

Beyond that, the rules are fairly self-explanatory, so have fun!

Tumblr's Barricades

or, Paula's Password

A lyrical composition to commiserate with Paula Maher, who can't get into her Tumblr account so is singing along to Spandau Ballet instead.

Paula doesn't know where Tumblr's gone
She says her password's right
But clearly she is wrong
She clicks the link to get a brand new pass
But all she gets instead
Is a browser crash
And now I know what she's saying
As it fails to load the page
Cos she's throwing out an F-bomb
At Tumblr's barricades

I'm wond'ring why she even cares
I thought it wasn't Tumblr
But Twitter where she shares
I guess it's fine to post on other sites
But now that Tumblr's wrong
It makes Twitter feel more right
And now I know what she's saying
As she slips into a rage
Cos she's throwing out an F-bomb
At Tumblr's barricades

Networks aimed at different groups
Tumblr gets your notes
But Twitter gets your truths
So come to me with all your tweets
And I'll dot your i's
And cross all of your t's
And now I know what you're saying
To Tumblr's login page
Cos you're throwing out those F-bombs
At Tumblr's barricades

Oh, hit refresh, it'll be there!
There's a password box on-screen, you've forgotten again!
You think you might have got it right,
But it's all a bag of fucking shite.
And the error message tells you
That it's not gonna be your night, oh...

Better leave the bastard thing
And email tech support
Or give Tumblr a ring
Twitter's here to hold your hand
Of everyone you know
It's tweeps who'll understand
And now I know what you're saying
As your tweets load on the page
Cos you're throwing out an F-bomb
At Tumblr's barricades
Yes I know, what you're risking
Because Twitter jail is a cage
So don't tweet too many F-bombs
About Tumblr's barricades.