For the irrepressible Miss Paula Maher, an amended set of lyrics and a karaoke track to set them to...
Santa, It's Your Bum
Early one Christmas morning,
before you were even awake,
Santa popped into your chimneypot,
and landed in your fireplace.
You thought that you'd been naughty
but he decided you'd been good;
he squeezed into your chimney
and he landed with a thud.
Oh Santa, Santa, what was that bump?
Santa, Santa, it was your bum!
Sitting in the hearth with soot on your rump.
Oh Santa, it's your bum.
Later on when you waken up,
you find him sitting there looking shaken up.
He's sooty and black, there's a crick in his back,
and a sore head where he got hit by his sack.
Oh Santa, Santa, what was that bump?
Santa, Santa, it was your bum!
Sitting in the hearth with soot on your rump.
Oh Santa, it's your bum.
Every Christmas Eve when he gets on his way,
bringing all the presents in his flying sleigh,
he sees that you've left him a plate of treats
and jolly old Santa eats and eats.
So Santa, Santa, look at your size!
You've filled your face with too many pies.
You're far too fat to fit through the door
so you've fallen down the chimney and you've hit the floor.
Oh Santa, Santa, what was that bump?
Santa, Santa, it was your bum!
Sitting in the hearth with soot on your rump.
Oh Santa, it's your bum.
Santa it's your bum.
before you were even awake,
Santa popped into your chimneypot,
and landed in your fireplace.
You thought that you'd been naughty
but he decided you'd been good;
he squeezed into your chimney
and he landed with a thud.
Oh Santa, Santa, what was that bump?
Santa, Santa, it was your bum!
Sitting in the hearth with soot on your rump.
Oh Santa, it's your bum.
Later on when you waken up,
you find him sitting there looking shaken up.
He's sooty and black, there's a crick in his back,
and a sore head where he got hit by his sack.
Oh Santa, Santa, what was that bump?
Santa, Santa, it was your bum!
Sitting in the hearth with soot on your rump.
Oh Santa, it's your bum.
Every Christmas Eve when he gets on his way,
bringing all the presents in his flying sleigh,
he sees that you've left him a plate of treats
and jolly old Santa eats and eats.
So Santa, Santa, look at your size!
You've filled your face with too many pies.
You're far too fat to fit through the door
so you've fallen down the chimney and you've hit the floor.
Oh Santa, Santa, what was that bump?
Santa, Santa, it was your bum!
Sitting in the hearth with soot on your rump.
Oh Santa, it's your bum.
Santa it's your bum.
Jane Arschavir, Hodge Podge Days
Jane is a good friend, so when she needed help transferring her WordPress-hosted blog to her self-hosted domain (http://hodgepodgedays.co.uk/), I was happy to help.
It's one of those processes that can be utterly, utterly bewildering if you've never done it before, but with my experience in setting up new domain names and WordPress blogs, and Jane's contributions in terms of how her page layout and general design should look, we were able to get the nuts and bolts of it in place in an afternoon.
We met with triumph and disaster that day (namely that a bunch of Jane's most recent blog posts didn't import correctly from her archive) and we faced those two impostors just the same, with patience and a pint.
Jane says...
Jane ain't no dummy, so she did a lot of the work herself, so if you want to see the results of our combined handiwork, head to Hodge Podge Days.
For more information about my 'starter blog' deal for small businesses, click here.
It's one of those processes that can be utterly, utterly bewildering if you've never done it before, but with my experience in setting up new domain names and WordPress blogs, and Jane's contributions in terms of how her page layout and general design should look, we were able to get the nuts and bolts of it in place in an afternoon.
We met with triumph and disaster that day (namely that a bunch of Jane's most recent blog posts didn't import correctly from her archive) and we faced those two impostors just the same, with patience and a pint.
Jane says...
"When I decided that my blog needed to go self-hosted I knew I needed help. I contacted Bobble Bardsley and he sorted it all out for me. From researching my options and walking me through them; to actually setting up my domain and transferring my old blog in its entirety to its new home.
"Bobble was endlessly patient with me and technically brilliant. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend him to anyone looking to go self-hosted, or wanting to do technical jiggery-pokery to their blog."
Jane ain't no dummy, so she did a lot of the work herself, so if you want to see the results of our combined handiwork, head to Hodge Podge Days.
For more information about my 'starter blog' deal for small businesses, click here.
