Where have all the writers gone?

Seriously, I'm not claiming the past was perfect or anything, but what the hell is going on these days?

In particular, which muppet was in charge of Children in Need this year? It was a cavalcade of X Factor rejects - they even had one presenting the show towards the end.

And as for the 'anthem' - well, let's compare this year's effort with the still-benchmark triumph from 1989.

"We are the children, we are the meek
We are the voice that is longing to speak
We are the future, we are the seed
If you want to help, help Children in Need."

Now here's the 2012 'anthem' by Girls Aloud:


"Go girls, go go go
We girls gonna rock this show
You boys better know know know
We girls gonna rock this show."

Excellent, a bit of anti-male sentiment and a song that's marginally more shit than the 42-second 'Intro' from their 2005 album Chemistry.

Forgive me for not being inspired to donate (although I did anyway, because I'm not a total wretch).